


fire emblem three houses: crimson flower reimagined as a groupchat fic

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Minor Mercedes von Martriz/Jeritza von Hyrm, Rated T for language, also lysithea convinces cyril to side against rhea although it was hard, crimson flower but we have all the lords against rhea and twsitd, haha brain go brrr, it will take time for things to get spicy, no beta we die like Glenn, sylvashe being bros, things will go downhill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: mayo man:Who changed my username to something so ridiculous!?small child: pfffftt mayo man, Claude you really outdid yourself here, this is fantastic!schemin:thank you for such kind words Lysitheamayo man:This is outrageous! I demand I must be changed at once!stan captain jeralt: lorenz it’s fine claude could’ve done something worse so stop being a whiny babymayo man:Fine
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc, Bernedetta Varely/ Hubert von Vertsa, Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Cyril/Lysithea von Ordelia, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Marianne von Edmund, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Ferdinand von Aegir/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Hapi/Constance von Nuvelle, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Leonie Pinelli, Mercedes von Martritz/Dedue Molinaro, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wooo welcome to the circus train, I have everyone’s usernames down here ^^  
> Byleth: fishing  
> Edelgard:small axe user  
> Claude:schemin  
> Dimitri:prince man  
> Hubert:tall void  
> Ferdinand: I am Ferdinand von Aegir  
> Bernedetta: bernie bear  
> Dorothea:songstress  
> Petra:local hunting guide  
> Caspar: small king  
> Linhardt:tall baby  
> Hilda:delicate flower  
> Lorenz:mayo man  
> Leonie: stan captain jeralt  
> Ignatz:soft boy  
> Raphael:i like food  
> Lysithea:small mage  
> Marianne:a disney princess  
> Dedue:big shield  
> Felix: short swordsman  
> Ashe: a precious sunbeam  
> Annette: crumbs and yums  
> Mercedes: nice mom friend  
> Ingrid:angry mom friend  
> Sylvain: big goof

Sylvain: alrighty gamers professor has allowed me to let us have this groupchat

Claude:you mean us right?

Sylvain:yeah

Hilda:sounds fun!

Sylvain: wait let me fix ya’lls users 

Sylvain changed 25 usernames

short swordsman: what is this

prince man:Sylvain what is this exactly?

angry mom friend:Sylvain? Claude?

schemin: calm down ingrid i only helped out with usernames don’t blame me

fishing: I allowed Sylvain to make a group chat for all the houses

a precious sunbeam: oh that makes sense now!

mayo man: Claude why are you choosing to associate yourself with Sylvain of all people?

mayo man:Who changed my username to something so ridiculous!?

small child: pfffftt mayo man, Claude you really outdid yourself here, this is fantastic!

schemin:thank you for such kind words Lysithea 

mayo man:This is outrageous! I demand I must be changed at once!

stan captain jeralt: lorenz it’s fine claude could’ve done something worse so stop being a whiny baby

mayo man:Fine

tall baby: why do i have so many notifications

tall baby: oh

small king: oh cool! we’re in a gc with everyone

small axe user:Claude? And Sylvain? What did I expect from you two...

tall void: is there a problem?

small axe user:No, nothing’s wrong but I’m worried

schemin: why should you be worried, it’s not like I’m going to expose you or anything

songstress: Claude dm NOW 

scheming: I’ll tell you later

songstress: I SAID NOW 

schemin: okay, okay sheesh!

(Private Chat with songstress)  
songstress: tell me claude,how in the world do you have anything that you could expose edie with?

schemin:long story short I caught her doing something with a certain someone

songstress: who is this certain someone?

schemin: I promised I wouldn’t tell a soul, or her highness would have my head

songstress: I don’t care tell me

schemin: alright it was Ferdinand 

songstress: ferdie? and edie? what exactly did you see them doing?

schemin: nothing much but edelgard just giving him a little smooch on the cheek 

songstress: Holy

schemin:I wouldn’t call it holy but it sure was something 

songstress:ehtjgtinsa

songstress: we should go back to the gc 

schemin: alright let’s go

small axe user: CLAUDE WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?

schemin: nothing important 

angry mom friend: are you sure it was nothing?

schemin: yes

10:53 PM  
bernie bear: uh what is this?

bernie bear: oh wait nevermind

11:26  
angry mom friend changed 1 username

bernie bear: I saw that


	2. love talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tall void: Claude please tell me what Dorothea told me isn’t true right?  
> schemin:no can do hubert it is true  
> I am Ferdinand von Aegir: what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m almost finished with cindered shadows but the boss is literally killing me, anyways the ashen wolves will come in the story soon, so look forward to that.

big goof: good morning everybody!

big goof:wait who changed my username

short swordsman:shut up

tall baby:it’s to early for this

songstress: Lin it’s 8:49

tall baby: so?

songstress:Caspar said you wanted to have a double date with Petra and I today

tall baby: oh yeah

small king:Linhardt can we cuddle?

tall baby: yeah let me get over there

small king:yay!

songstress:alright fine I’ll let you sleep in for a little but you better meet up with us at 10:30 sharp 

tall baby: ugh fine

big goof: is no one going to say good morning to me

angry mom friend:good morning

big goof:do you want to have breakfast with me?

angry mom friend:yeah

big goof: alright meet up with me at 9 okay

angry mom friend: okay

(Private Groupchat)

angry mom friend: ugh why is he so cute 

songstress: Ingrid you have it bad

local hunting guide: how is Ingrid having it bad she hasn’t done anything wrong

delicate flower: petra-

songstress:she just reallly likes sylvain and she won’t stop going off about how cute he is

local hunting guide: wait does that mean I have it bad for you?

songstress: I guess

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: Ah young love

songstress: ferdie shut your mouth it’s not like your not in love beside you’re barely older than half of us.

I am Ferdinand von Aegir:...

songstress: that’s what I thought 

angry mom friend:alright I’m off wish me luck guys

delicate flower: good luck ^^

a disney princess: I doubt this would make you feel any better but I’m sure you can do it!

angry mom friend:aww thanks marianne 

songstress: you go girl!

tall void: Although I have no idea why I’m in this group chat you can capture his heart.

delicate flower:skiaheuanauwwiqi

songstress:hubert I-

tall void: ;)

(Private Chat with small axe user)

I am Ferdinand von Aegir:El I think we have a problem 

small axe user:which is?

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: I think Dorothea found us

small axe user: how

I am Ferdinand von Aegir:I was just encouraging young love and-

small axe user: I love you but are you really this dumb?

I am Ferdinand Von Aegir:sorry

small axe user: it’s not entirely your fault, Claude found us and I told him to keep it a secret and I guess he didn’t, time to beat somebody up.

I am Ferdinand Von Aegir:wait what

small axe user:Hm?

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: Why do we have to keep a secret?

small axe user: oh, 1 Hubert is extremely overprotective 2 and my dumb uncle doesn't like you

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: oh

small axe user: if Hubert ever interrogates you for whatever reason say you have no idea what he’s talking bout okay?

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: okay 

small axe user: I love you 

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: I love you too <3

small axe user: <3

the monastery’s circus train 

tall void: Claude please tell me what Dorothea told me isn’t true right?

schemin: no can do hubert it is true

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: what

tall void: you should know fully what I’m talking about 

I am Ferdinand Von Aegir: Well I don’t 

schemin: are you sure about that

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: Yeah

schemin: sure 

small axe user:what are you talking about

tall void:Edelgard you can’t possibly be dating Ferdinand right?

songstress: she is

schemin: she is

small axe user: what-

songstress: Edie there’s no need to hide it anymore

delicate flower: hide what?

schemin: Ferdinand and edelgard are dating

delicate flower: but I swear those two were always bickering over who was better

small king: yeah

small axe user: fine we are but Hubert please don’t tell my uncle

tall void: I won’t, but why didn’t you tell me? I though you trusted me?

small axe user: I do trust you but you’re a little overprotective to put it nicely

short swordsman: lmao 

short mage: bruh I was just watching the show and you ruined the mood

stan captain jeralt: lysithea play nice

short mage: tf is that got sick on that day of kindergarten 

short swordsman: ^ 

stan captain jeralt: gUYS IF YOU DON’T STOP I WON’T HESITATE TO SMACK SOME SENSE ITO YOU 

short swordsman: wow scary 

prince mane: felix... 🧎♂️🏌️ 

short swordsman: bruh fine 

short mage:hahaha loser 

stan captain jeralt: okay no sweets for you 🥰 

short mage: okay got it 

bernie bear:uh wow leonie 

stan captain jeralt: huh?

bernie bear: uh nothing!

stan captain jeralt: okay then

soft boy: Oh Petra how did you’re date go? 

local hunting guide: it went very nice 

small king: oh Ignatz I didn’t know you were close with petra 

soft boy: oh well she um she took me to Brigid once to see the oceans!

songstress: awww that’s sweet

soft boy: ah thank you!

songstress: you’re welcome!

prince man: hey has anyone seen sylvain?

nice mom friend: now that I think about I haven’t seen them since breakfast and that was awhile ago

crumbs and yums: yeah I hope their nor in trouble!

big shield: I saw them fishing earlier, they both fell asleep

prince man: ah okay I can train with sylvain later

a precious sunbeam: you can train with me your highness!

prince man: ashe 

a precious sunbeam: ah sorry dimitri 

prince man: that aside I’d love to train with you

a precious sunbeam 4:30?

prince man: sure I’ll see you there

a precious sunbeam: alright!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright here’s the chapter story it’s still a bit short but a few personal headcanons of mine are that Ignatz Petra are bffs and dimiashe train together. I hope you all have a good day/night!


	3. new students?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINISHED DLC! I’m so happy! It took my three tries to get it right. Here are the Ashen Wolves usernames  
> Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: Hapi  
> baltie: Balthus  
> yuribird: Yuri  
> ☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽

fishing:I have an announcement, we will be getting 4 new students on Saturday, I have selected 3 people to help the house leaders to guide them around the monastery. Please treat them well.

prince man:Question Professor, why Saturday and who are the three students?

big goof: yeah I was wondering that too proffesor 

fishing:Saturday is my day off you know that, the three that are helping the house leaders are Hilda Linhardt and Ashe

delicate flower: wait Professor why me!

fishing: you know

delicate flower: ughhh fine

tall baby: i don’t want to show the new kids around I want to sleep 

fishing: if you don’t stop i’m going to give you detention for all of next week

delicate flower: yikes

fishing: you too hilda 

tall baby: okay

delicate flower:okay 

a precious sunbeam: I’d love to help professor! 

fishing: thank you ashe 

bernie bear: I’m glad I don’t have to help 

bernie bear: (•̀ᴗ•́)و

tall void: cute

songstress:hubie what did you say about bern?

tall void: nothing

big goof: he just wanted to know if the new students were cute

tall void:i-

big goof:see

big shield: sylvain 

big goof:oops

mayo man: what are the genders of our new classmats

stan captain jeralt: classmats?

short mage:classmats?

soft boy:classmats?

a disney princess:classmats?

delicate flower classmats?

schemin:classmats?

i like food:classmats? don’t know her 

soft boy:sjwbsjsjs

small king: is this you’re role call or sumthin?

schemin: unfortunately no

prince man: claude 

schemin: sorry

fishing: for your information lorenz,we have two girls and two guys 

mayo man: ah thank you professor 

short mage: classmats 

small king: do you guys repeat dumb things Lorenz says 

soft boy: yeah, it’s kinda funny 

a disney princess: it is actually 

bernie bear: ಠ_ಠ

prince man: it’s late we should go to bed 

soft boy: yeah, good night everyone!

local hunting guide: good night 

bernie bear: i’m actually pretty tired today so goodnight

tall void: good night bernedetta 

bernie bear: good night ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

short mage: no sleep is for the weak

schemin: sithea it’s past you’re bedtime

short mage: not it’s not

schemin: I’ll get you some sweets before class

short mage: okay

schemin: good

(Private Groupchat)  
♕ᴛʜᴇ ᴀsʜᴇɴ ʀᴀᴛs♕

fishing: alright I just informed the other classes about tomorrow 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈:kay 

yuribird:so I’ll have a certain old friend guiding me around, how cute

baltie: who? 

tall baby:...

delicate flower:...

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: ...

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽:...

schemin:...

prince man:...

short axe user:...

yuribird: what?

a precious sunbean: anyways are there any shows you like watching?

yuribird:banana fish

a precious sunbeam: no

yuribird: it’s sad

a precious sunbeam: i know

a delicate flower: why is it sad it sounds like a comedy show or whatever

a precious sunbeam:i-

yuribird:its not because it's crime and thriller

a delicate flower: about jokes...?

a precious sunbeam: nevernind that

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈:i like black clover and demon slayer 

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: i like my hero academia 

baltie: i sometimes watch demon slayer 

schemin: ya'll have some good taste 

prince man: i only recognize my hero academia because felix has watched it with annie once 

schemin: HE DID!? 

short axe user: i wouldn't expect felix to do such a thing 

prince man: i wouldn't but sylvain took a picture of them and felix still doesn't know it 

prince man:yet... 

yuribird: i didn't think your highness to be so devious 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: you sure this is the same person? 

prince man: i- 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: what? 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: when we first met your all so highly and royal looking and not to mention sounding 

baltie:^ 

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: love, you are hilarious 

a delicate flower:LOVE? 

tall baby: LOVE? 

short axe user: ya'll dating or something? 

schemin: edelgard using the term ya'll i though i'd never see this day come to pass! 

short axe user: shut up will you 

prince man: are you two dating? 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: yeah we are got a promblem? 

prince man: ah- no i was just wondering since i saw you two doing the same in abyss 

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: oh i didn't think anybody saw that- 

schemin: but he did 

short axe user: what did you see them doing? 

prince man: cuddling 

delicate flower: aww that’s sweet 

tall baby: i must admit that is cute 

schemin:relationship goals 

delicate flower: that’s saying that you don’t have a thing for our professor 

schemin: me having a thing for teach, never 

fishing: sure 

schemin: 

schemin: why don’t we have a party to welcome the ashen wolves? 

short axe user: getting off topic but that sounds nice 

☀︎︎constance Von nuvelle ☽: that sounds wonderful! 

Goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: I want to show off my girlfriend 

☀︎︎constance Von nuvelle☽: 

schemin: alright I’m going to alert my goldies 

fishing: our goldies you mean 

schemin: uh yeah our goldies (Private Groupchat) 

ɹɐǝp ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɟ 

schemin:sorry to bother you guys at such a late time, but tomorrow we’re having a welcoming party for the new students 

stan captain jeralt:you got permission from professor? 

schemin: yep they actually liked the idea 

mayo man: interesting 

schemin: got to bed I’m tired and I bet you’re tired so let’s get some sleep okay? 

mayo man: alright fine you’re actually caring for us i like that 

stan captain jeralt: I like that too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny thing,so when I was writing this my autocorrect autocorrected ‘stan captain jeralt’ to ‘stab captain jeralt’ this chapter took me quite awhile I had to mess around to make things work so yeah.hope ya’ll have a good day/night


	4. group chat nonsense (and making fun of sylvain)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> songstress: are you ever going to ask her out?
> 
> big goof: yeah probably tonight at the party
> 
> angry mom friend: ask who out
> 
> delicate flower: i-
> 
> big goof: uh you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, I got animal crossing two to three days ago and I’m speed running and I’ve already time traveled- anyways I just love ingrid/sylvain ending it’s so sweet and balthus/hilda is mainly going to be platon unless I change my mind anyways on to the circus!

fishing: alright sorry for the such short notice but we’re having a welcoming party for our new students tonight, and I’d love for you all to be there to bond with them. 

fishing: we’ll be doing karaoke,mario kart and other general party stuff

fishing:sorry for droning on and on, I’m adding them to the group chat and again please be nice to them

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: thanks chatterbox

a precious sunbeam:hi hapi!

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: hi freckles

small king: do you know each other- or?

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: well like he and linhardt showed me around along with yuribird so like yeah?

small king:linnn! you didn’t tell me you knew the new girl

tall baby: well- oops

baltie: hi ya’ll any of you like brawling/grappling

small king: yes

i like food: yes

yuribird: wow balthus you’re already making friends?

baltie yeah and?

yuribird: well good for you

delicate flower: raph caspar don’t trust him

small king: why not he seems like a pretty cool dude

i like food: yeah!

delicate flower: he’ll- hello this is balthus and you can totally trust me 

small king: what-

i like food: I’m confused 

schemin:exactly so uh balthus/hilda or whoever has hilda’s phone please explain why you can’t trust balthus 

delicate flower: he told holst I was going to meet your parents and I told him NOT to but he did anyways

baltie: ooo we got a pouty baby because I told big bro boo hoo

delicate flower: it’s not funny! he thought I was dating claude! and then he told my father and then my father told the village before he even confirmed it with me

schemin:we just be the bestest of bros 

big shield: 

prince man: 

schemin: ok the second bestest of bros 

small axe user: ok if you say so

soft boy: we’ve had three of our new classmates say something in the group chat I wonder where the fourth one is?

crumbs and yums: maybe they’re shy?

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: coco isnt the slighest bit of shy she’s juat nervous for the party later

soft boy: oh!

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: coco come out please they want to meet you

yuribird:sorry she’s not usually like this

crumbs and yums: no worries none of us are too judgy!

small swordsman: yeah

prince man: did I just see Felix- ah nevermind 

small swordsman: shut it boar

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: appolagies for the wait! nice to meet you all I am Constance Von Nuvelle! 

short axe user: hello Constance nice of you to show up

I am Ferdinand Von Aegir: Ah no worries Constance! In case if you had forgotten ( I hope not but) I am Ferdinand von Aegir! 

tall baby: ugh we have two of them now-

bernie bear: we have usernames but- you do you \\_(ツ)_/¯

yuribird: I'm hurt my sparrow hasn't said anything to me yet 

I am Ferdinand von Aegir: I wonder who that might be?

small swordsman: yeah I wanna know

yuribird: ashe 

small swordsman: ashe?

yuribird:ashe 

a precious sunbeam: yurii realllyy

yuribird: yes

small swordsman: wait

small swordsman: okay where and how did you meet him

a precious sunbeam: it's a long story

small swordsman: and I want to hear it

crumbs and yums: don't be so demanding Felix! it's not nice!

small swordsman: fine

fishing: oh yeah forgot to tell you but the party is starting in 2 hours or so

I like food:ok I'll go get food

mayo man: I'll go get food with him because he'll only get meat

I like food: well true

delicate flower: Marianne and I are going to get uno

a disney princess: uh yeah

small king: I'll bring Mario kart

bernie bear: Mario kart ruins friendships

small king: uh-

tall:baby where exactly is the party at?

fishing: golden deer class room

tall baby: oh good I can bring my pillow

baltie: how many of hours of sleep do you get 

all baby: not enough

tall void: he get's plenty 

short axe user: I can confirm this

tall baby: you're no fun

songstress: anyways sylvain 

songstress: are you ever going to ask her out?

big goof: yeah probably tonight at the party

angry mom friend: ask who out

delicate flower: i-

big goof: uh you

angry mom friend: I-

big goof: so uh Ingrid will you go out with me next Friday?

angry mom friend: yes

prince man: finally!

a precious sunbeam: I knew you could do. it :D

big goof: aww thanks

delicate flower: OOO MY GOSH YESS

songstress:YESS GOO INGRID!!!

songstress: I’ll hurt you if you do anything bad to my Ingrid

tall void: wow congrats you did it

small axe user: I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not-

tall void: I'm not I swear

big shield: well done sylvain 

nice mom friend:good job sylvain!

crumbs and yums: good job Ingrid!

yuribird: wow that was exciting 

goth but H̆̈ă̈p̆̈ĭ̈: sure was

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: Is this normal for you?

prince man: no

☀︎︎constance von nuvelle☽: interesting

a precious sunbeam: it is, Ingrid is usually yelling at him for hitting on girls when he was just clearly trying to make her jealous but failed 

short swordsman: miserably 

small mage: that it was actually funny to watch

big goof: ouch that was harsh

a precious sunbeam: ah sorry sylvain

big goof: ah no you're fine ashe

bernie bear: oooh! I've got an idea! 

tall void: which is?

bernie bear: what if we all pick a song and I put it on a spinner and a random person has to sing the song!

local hunting guide: I am liking this idea bernie

songstress: yep! it's really nice bern

bernie bear: aww thanks (╥︣﹏᷅╥) 

songstress: no problem bern!

bernie bear: so uh if you have any songs please dm me!

(Private Groupchat)  
archer trinity

soft boy: okay I've got an idea 

a precious sunbeam: which is?

soft boy: we make sylvain sing bite by troye sivan

a precious sunbeam: oh my gosh! that song is- 

bernie bear: gay and radiates bottom vibes

soft boy: yeah exactly

a precious sunbeam: but how would we make sure he gets it

bernie bear: simple, we rig it

soft boy: I'm in, you?

a precious sunbeam: yes

bernie ber: okay it's settled we make sylvain look like a bottom in front of Ingrid

soft boy: perfect but will he pull it off?

a precious sunbeam: have faith in him Ignatz he can sing he's been planning to ask Ingrid out for awhile and has been prating to impress her 

soft boy:oh gosh 

a precious sunbeam: yep

8:50

bernie bear: okay! is that everyone's song requests?

short axe user:it seems so

fishing:okay everybody the party has begun let's hope you leave in one piece :)

tall baby: wait-

fishing: I'm just joking

tall baby: you better be

short mage: they’re not

tall baby: how can someone shorter than me be so scary I-

short mage: fear me

schemin: please do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect it to be this long and I really enjoyed writing this, I'll update tomorrow if I don't get distracted by animal crossing. I actually plan on writing the party like an actual story so yeah. Also hit me up if you have any questions or ideas!


	5. dorohilda encouraging the idea of sylvain getting pegged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Uh- alright let me find the lyrics on my phone" Sylvain said stumbling on his words, she looked over to her archer friends and they were all laughing and barely managed to but up a thumbs up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again I’m actually going to write, and it’s going to be a big mess because I can’t write so we’re switching through POV’s and that’ll be fun so I hope you enjoy!

Bernedetta hummed as she finished typing down all of the song requests in her ‘Notes’ app for the party tonight 

Bite (Sylvain Exclusively)

Mad at Disney

Toxic

Adore You

Training Wheels

Backyard Boy

Single Lady

Call Me Maybe

This is Home  
“There! All done!” she sighed putting her phone down “Eek! I’m late! Hopefully everyone can forgive me.” Bernedetta yelled stumbling around with her phone and ran towards the Golden Deer Classroom

“Hubert are you okay? You’re looking paler than usually.” Edelgard asked worryingly “Ah it’s nothing.” He replies obviously trying to hide that fact that he’s worried for Bernedetta because he has just the slightest teeniest crush on her if that’s what you call it “Alright if you say so.” Edelgard said walking towards Dorothea and Petra. I really hope she isn’t hurt or anything he thought worried for the petite girl.I shouldn’t be thinking about her, I need to focus on the plan, although we won’t be actually accomplishing it until- “Ah! Hubert! You scared me!” Bernedetta yiped running into him “Ah, sorry for scaring you, glad for you to join us” He chuckled “Eep! Please don’t laugh like that!” she squirmed out of Hubert’s grip “Oh, sorry I completely forgot about that.” He said although he didn’t completely forget about it, he actually though it was quite funny seeing her like that. “Hubert! It’s not funny” The small fro, pouted “Sorry I couldn’t help myself, anyways the others are already here so shall we?” Hubert said ascending his hand towards Bernedetta “We shall.”She said laughing taking his hand.

“Hey, about time you came.” Byleth said “Ah sorry! I lost track of tine writing down everyone’s songs” she apologized “It’s alright, and Ashe and Ignatz want to see you.” “Okay! I’ll be right over.”Bernedetta said “So, what does you’re archer friends need?’ Hubert asked “Oh, um. Ignatz had an idea to make Sylvain look like a bottom in front of Ingrid and so uh yeah,”She replied laughing at the thought of Sylvain singing ‘Bite’ “Oh? Well that wasn’t what I was thinking of but go have fun.” He said planting a kiss on her forehead and walked away with both of the two extremely flustered “So, you and Hubert are a thing now?” Ignatz asked “Um, well kinda but I’m not sure.” She told him nervously unsure about the previous event. “So let’s go make Sylvain a bottom.” Ashe chuckled making the three of them laugh

“Okay everyone! Let’s do some karaoke!” Byleth said giving a thumbs up to archer trinity

"Uh okay, as I said last night I'm going to use a spinner thingy to decide what song a person will get, and you only have to do it if you want to!" Bernedetta stumbled out "Anyone who wants wants to go come talk to me." Byleth said covering up for her who forgot to say that

"Any new on the future bottom?" Ignatz asked her Ashe let out a giggle on the remark of the tall redhead "Yeah he's going to go right now." the three of them laughed not wrapping their heads around the fact "Alright! Since Sylvain decided to go first he may step up to the 'podium'" Bernie said with some unexpected confidence as others cheered and laughed "What song am I singing lovely Bern" Sylvain winked, "Uh well let's see!" she answered a bit flustered from him winking at her, she opened up the site and let it spin...After a number of seconds it landed on Single Lady but Bernie ignored that since they had come up with a plan for Sylvain to look like a bottom, she couldn't let it go to waste... right? "Altighty Sylvain,you have to sing Bite by Troye Sivan!" Bernie laughed at the surprised and flustered Sylvain. "Uh- alright let me find the lyrics on my phone" Sylvain said stumbling on his words, she looked over to her archer friends and they all laughing and barely managed to but up a thumbs up.

here’s the playlist for karaoke night! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4zL4PYrKi6QyBDklPkHji8?si=snamckqgQPWkawkTTWPZaQ 

He took a deep breath in and started to sing, he looked at his once best friend and now girlfriend.

“Kiss me on the mouth and set me free

sing me like a choir

I can be the subject of your dreams

your sickening desire

don’t you wanna see a man up close

a phoenix in the fire

so kiss me on the mouth and set me free

but please, don't bite.” 

You can coax the cold right out of me

drape me in your warmth

the rapture in the dark puts me at ease

the blind eye of the storm

let’s go for a walk down Easy Street

where you can be reborn

and kiss me on the mouth and set me free

but please, don't bite

aah, I'm pulling on your heart to push my luck

aah cause who's got any time for growing up

kiss me on the mouth

kiss me on the mouth

kiss me, kiss me on the mouth and set me free

kiss me on the mouth and set me free

kiss me on the mouth and set me free

kiss me on the mouth and set me free

kiss me on the mouth and set me free

sing me like a choir

I can be the subject of your dreams

your sickening desire

don’t you wanna see a man up close

a phoenix in the fire

so kiss me on the mouth and set me free

but please, don't bite.”

Finishing up the the last verse he looked up at his laughing classmates and blushing girlfriend and smiled, walking off of the so called ‘podium’ greeted by Hilda and Dorothea “Are you a bottom now?” asked Dorothea “Would you let Ingrid top you?” Hilda asked “Aah! Guys stop!” Ingrid walked up embarrassed and her cheeks a bright shade of red “Awww you’re no fun,” Hilda pouted “Although you know we’re only joking right? Unless he really does want to get pegged by Ingrid.” Dorothea said winking “Ok I’m leaving.” Ingrid said taking his hand and leaving the two “Let’s hope you can walk straight Sylvain!” the two giggled as they walked away 

The archer trinity giggled historically their plan had succeeded and they didn’t expect Sylvain to pull it off wonderfully although Ashe had reassured them that Sylvain can sing. Walking up to the microphone Bernedetta asked somewhat confidently “Who would like to go next”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ya’ll sorry it’s been so long I’ve been caught up with watching anime and then school started and I really didn’t have time to update this, I’ll be making another chapter with the rest of them but this was just for sylvain, hope you enjoyed!


	6. straight people realize their crushes ft. edelgard breaking down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i’m sick and decided yeah let’s update this book before we start writing a plethora of haikyuu fics and all that’s been rattling in my brain was this so I decided to actually write hope you enjoy!~ (Eon’t mind the amount of cussing in this it starts in the middle ish?)  
> Here is the playlist with all the songs in it https://open.spotify.com/user/4z0eexyrg0cmqs0te85qmvdo8/playlist/4zL4PYrKi6QyBDklPkHji8?si=XooGxfjER5WJ3DNvkdKv8Q
> 
> I randomly picked some songs so some might not make sense but that:s the fun of a karaoke night

Marianne was standing nervously as Bernedetta asked who wanted to go next “𝘎𝘰𝘴𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵...” Marianne thought “𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦!” she shook her head having an argument in her head like a maniac “Hey! Marianne why don’t you go? You have a lovely singing voice.” Dorothea asked “Uh- Me? I mean I could try...”She said nervously words spilling out of her mouth without realizing “Wooo! Go Marianne!” Hilda screamed encouragingly. The bluenette shyly walked up and waited for the Bernedetta to tell her what song she needed to pull up. She didn’t have to wait that long since they were using a spinner “Backyard Boy.” The petite purple haired girl told her, she nodded opening her phone and was greeted by her background picture that was a picture she and Hilda took at the beginning of the year. 

After rummaging around through her phone for a hot second she finally found the lyrics and took a deep breath in and looked at her classmates who looked right back at her encouragingly so she decides to be confident and starts to sing and she closes her eyes 

“5 6 7 8

Dance with me in my backyard boy

looking super fine in your corduroy

drive me round the block

we can go in a loop

and we'll turn the volume up on some

good boy band tunes

love to feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

and I'm not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

my heart is on wings

I’m living in dreams

and at the top of our lungs, we sing

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

all our words were worth it

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

backyard boy, you make me nervous

dance with me in my backyard boy

looking super fine in your corduroy

roll the windows down

let the base drop low

and everybody's talking

but I don't wanna know

feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

and I'm not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

my heart is on wings

I'm living in dreams

and at the top of our lungs, we sing

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

all our words were worth it

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

backyard boy, you make me nervous!”

As Marianne finishes her eyes cast to a certain a blonde and he looked back at her and smiled at applauded as was everyone around them was, she walks back to the rest of them 

“Woah! Marianne that was amazing!” Ashe and Annette praised and she couldn’t help but blush, she isn’t used to all the praise although Professor gives her a handful of it. As she was walking towards Hilda she was showered in praise from all of her classmates and even Professor! “Did you have fun!?” Hilda asked excitedly “Uh- yeah! I liked that.” She blushed “Oh, yeah I saw you eyeing Dimitri....” Hilda said “Do you like him?” As she was about to answer they were interrupted by Bernedetta giving a song to Annette “Ugh you got lucky but we’ll talk about this later.” Hilda fumed She sighed in relief, she didn’t even know her feelings about the blue eyed blonde haired man. 

Annette planned to sing, she loved doing it and it was fun seeing others enjoying themselves doing it and after Marianne finished she quickly praised her and ran up to Bernedetta “Give me a song.” she said “Okay!” she pulled out her phone as the purpled haired girl spun the spinner, she opened it ignoring the fact that she forgot to close Crunchyroll, she was binging Haikyuu!! the other day and fell asleep in the process and Felix had came in and carried her to her room when she heard about she was so flustered since she was in the classroom with the others hanging out and someone else could’ve done it but no Felix decided to do it. “Okay! You got Training Wheels!” Bernedetta told her “Okay thanks!” It was weird she hadn’t heard of it so she doesn’t really have an opinion in it. She looked up the lyrics and almost screamed, does she know I like Felix!? She was about to confess her love to him through a song...while everyone is watching. God things can’t be worse than this.

“Riding down, riding down

my hand on your seat the whole way round

I carry band-aids on me now

for when your soft hands hit the jagged ground

wheels aren't even touching the ground

scared to take them off but they're so worn down

promised I won't push you straight to the dirt

if you promise me you'll take them off first

love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you

love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you

letting go, letting go

telling you things you already know

I explode, I explode

asking you where you want us to go

you’ve been riding two wheelers all your life

it’s not like I'm asking to be your wife

I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say

is this coming off in a cheesy way?” 

She looked up at Felix who was flustered and their eyes locked for a second and they both looked away even more flustered she started again singing 

“Love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you

love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you

love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you

love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do

I wanna ride my bike with you

fully undressed, no training wheels left for you

I'll pull them off for you.” 

Looking up she was greeted by Felix who blushing furiously and he kissed her, his lips were soft and not to mention warm. They pulled away and lots of cheering greeted them.

“WOOO! GO ANNIE!” Mercedes cheered, “HAH! SYLVAIN YOU OWE ME 25 DOLLARS!” Claude yelled at Sylvain “WHAT!? FELIX KISSED HER!” Sylvain yelled “I SAID I BET ANNIE WILL CONFESS FIRST NOT WHO WOULD PULL IN FOR A KISS FIRST.” “Oh well shit.” “Oh my god you two bet on them?” Yuri asked “Yeah.” The two responded “SYLVAIN!” “INGRID OH MY GOSH STOP I SWEAR IT WASN’T ANYTHING MORE THAN THIS!” Sylvain pleaded to Ingrid 

Annie laughed at them bickering “Uh- hey I love you.” Felix told her “I love you too.” She smiled “Oh well look at you two getting cozy.” Yuri approached them laughing with Ashe behind him “We wanted to congratulate you two!” Ashe piped up “Well he did at least.” Yuri replied “But anyways we’ll be on our way. See you later lovebirds.” And he left with a wink. As Yuri was walking back with Ashe he thought “Hey sparrow, who else did we see get in a couple.” “Oh, you mean Sylvain and Ingrid?” Ashe asked “Oh yeah and who was that just a second ago?” He asked teasingly “That was Annette and Felix.” Ashe replied “Huh, anyways who else has a crush on each other.” “Why do you expect me to know all of this?” He asked dumbfounded “Hmm, let’s see, we’ll you’re sweet looking and that tells people that they can trust you and you know you’re kinda cute.” “Oh sorry I was just ranting there, you good sparrow? You seem kind of flustered.” Yuri said fully aware on why Ashe was flustered “Yuri! You can’t just call people c-cute!” Ashe stumbled out “Oh I can’t now.” Yuri said teasingly “Yuribird stop flirting with freckles.” Hapi said “Yeah you literally just completely missed Ferdinand singing to Edelgard.” Constance piped “Well whoops.” Yuri said laughing “Yuri I swear to god shut up, I’m leaving you.” Hapi said done with Yuri’s shit. “Oh shit, you weren’t kidding. Yuri said surprised that Hapi actually left “She got you got you there pal.” Balthus said laughing. 

Focusing their eyes on Hapi, “What did Ferdinand sing?” Yuri questioned “God what’s with you and asking questions today.” Ashe muttered “What was that didn’t hear you sparrow “He sung his heart out to Adore You.” Constance said also done with Yuri’s shit “Adore U? By Seventeen?” Yuri poked flexing his knowledge of K-Pop songs “Yuri no by Harry Styles you halfwit.” 

“I'm mad at Disney, Disney

they tricked me, tricked me

had me wishing on a shooting star

but now I'm twenty something

I still know nothing

about who I am or what I'm not

so call me a pessimist

but I don't believe in it

finding a true love's kiss is bullshit

'cause I felt sad love

I felt bad love

sometimes happy love 

turns into giving up 

I felt hurt love

by the word love

what the hell is love supposed to feel like

what the hell is love? What the hell is love

what the hell is love supposed to feel like

my fairy grandma warned me

Cinderella's story

only ended in a bad divorce

the prince ain't sleeping when he

takes his sleeping beauty

to the motel on his snow white horse

so call me a pessimist

but I don't believe in it

finding a true love's kiss is bullshit

‘cause I felt sad love

I felt bad love

sometimes happy love 

turns into giving up 

I felt hurt love

by the word love

what the hell is love supposed to feel like

what the hell is love? What the hell is love

what the hell is love supposed to feel like

what the hell is love? What the hell is love

what the hell is love supposed to feel like

I'm mad at Disney, Disney

they tricked me, tricked me

no more wishing on a shooting star.”

Hapi finished an bowed running off the stage “Hey, Ashe wasn’t someone’s username Disney Princess?” Constance asked “Oh bluebird?” Yuri replied “Who the fuck is bluebird” Balthus questioned “Guys it’s Marianne.” Ashe said worriedly “But like this songs is a disgrace to her then.” Balthasar’s said “EXACTLY!” Hilda said popping up from no where “Watcha talking about.” Hapj said running into her girlfriend “Oh my gosh stop doing that.” Constance said annoyed “No.” Hali replies teasingly 

The night was very eventful Linhardt fell asleep and Annette and Caspar were drawing funny faces on him Ashe ended up falling asleep and Yuri’s shoulder amidst the chaos while Dorothea and Hilda had a duet and covered Toxic by Britney Spears followed by all the single ladies singing Single Ladies by Beyoncé. Ashe woke up during Claude singing Call me Maybe. The house leaders ended up having a Mario Kart battle which resulted in Claude winning and Yuri closely in second with the most ridiculous looking karts that ended up being the best. They finished the night by playing a 29 player game of uno with Yuri’s music taste as the soundtrack (HIP to Gurenge) and game ended up being almost 15 minutes long with Byleth being the winner.

“Hey, guys since Bernie forgot to give this song out to someone I’ll sing it.” Byleth said startling everyone.

“ Often I am upset

that I cannot fall in love but I guess

this avoids the stress of falling out of it

Are you tired of me yet?

I'm a little sick right now but I swear

when I'm ready I will fly us out of here

I'll cut my hair

to make you stare

I'll hide my chest and I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

turn off your porcelain face

I can't really think right now and this place

there’s too many colours

enough to drive all of us insane

are you dead?

sometimes I think I'm dead

'cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

but I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

my eyes went dark

I don't know where

my pupils are but I'll

figure out a way to get us out of here

get a load of this monster

he doesn't know how to communicate

mind is in a different place

will everybody please give him a little bit of space?” they eyed Claude knowing this had probably had happened to him

“get a load of this trainwreck

his hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

but little do we know the stars

welcome him with open arms

oh...time...is slowly

tracing his face

but strangely he feels at home in this place.” 

they finished meeting Edelgard with tears in her eyes “Are you okay?” Byleth asked concerned “It’s nothing.” She said trembling “It’s not nothing if you’re crying, you can tell me anything.” Byleth said looking her dead in the eye, she looked at Hubert who simply nodded at her worriedly “It’s about Rhea, the church and-” she was cut off by her proffesor “Are you really comfortable talking about it with us?” They asked concerned for her wellbeing, she hesitated but answered with a “Yes” 


	7. confliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this really the truth?” he asked “Yes...” “Why does it hurt knowing the truth that you’ve been living in a lie.” he stated sadly “It’s easier believing the lie than realizing the truth” she smiled sadly eyes watering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it’s been a hot second school started again and I’ve been working on other stories and things have gotten a little hectic lately, so enjoy the chapter things are going down! also sorry for an ooc edelgard! this is before jeralt ‘dies’ (he won’t :) yw)

“Some of you may not see me in the same light anymore after this, but it needs” to be said....”Edelgard said cheeks wet from tears earlier, others sat listening to what she was about to say, “The church has been lying to you, crests aren’t as wonderful as they seem which isn’t much of a shocker for the people that have them.” she stated leaving some wide eyed “The Church well mostly Rhea glorifies them, she created a society that believes that if you have a crest you are **_loved_** , you have _worth_.” she said with anger in her eyes “Woah that hits close to home,” Sylvain muttered “Another concerning thing about Rhea is that there is a lot of evidence supporting that she has been experimenting on people... and even worse giving them crests.” The small woman said looking up with the ‘audience’ horrified. Dimitri rose up to speak “Is this really the truth?” he asked “Yes...” “Why does it hurt knowing the truth that you’ve been living in a lie.” he stated sadly “It’s easier believing the lie than realizing the truth” she smiled sadly eyes watering 

“Alright thank you Edelgard for telling us this, it must of been hard saying this...” Byleth said “It was something snapped inside of me all the pressure and planning to take down the church had gotten to me I guess.” she said “And now is where we part ways,” she said eyes dull “Do you want to help me take down the church and free this land from it’s crest system?” Edelgard asked purple eyes fixated on her goal “I for one will join this cause.” Byleth said “Well I somewhat am against the church and my from this I can tell my beliefs aren’t so off from yours, so if teach is in I’m in.” Claude said with a small but devious smile “Well then If Claude and Professor are in I guess I am...” Hilda said sighing “We’re not forcing you to do this Hilda you know that right?” Byleth said worryingly “I’m doing this for myself.” Hilda said daringly “I think the rest of us are with Hilda.” Ignatz said speaking for the rest of the Golden Deer. Edelgard looked at the rest of the Golden Deer, they didn’t look afraid they seemed calm...

”I guess I have my own personal grudge against the church,” Ashe said speaking up “They took away my family and... I-I can’t accept that, no matter what great the cause.” Ashe said confidently “I don’t like the church so I’m with you.” Yuri said “I’m speaking for the behalf of the Ashen Wolves.” Looking at the Ashen Wolfes who agreed “Since I know the truth about the church I can’t accept them...” Dimitri said “You know that I’m the Flame Emperor? Though I didn’t have anything to do with the Tragedy of Duscar.” Edelgard “You **can’t** go saying that so **casually**.” Dimitri said growling “But i stand by my choice.” The blonde said “I’m with his highness.” Dedue stated flatly “I’m also with Dimitri.” stated the remaining of the Blue Lions “Okay thank you. I’m not forcing you to be part of this, you can back out before you get too _deep_.” The purple eyed female said warningly “Onto my house are you with me?” She asked “We’re with you Eddie, so is everyone else including the professor.” Dorothea said warmly “Yeah what she said.” Linhardt yawned “I knew something was up with church it seems my suspicions were correct.” He said “Also another question about the **_experimenting_** , you and Lysithea were experimented on right?” Linhardt asked “You both have white hair, I thought there was something because the main members inn the church have the same color...”

”I was experimented on, not by the church though.” Lysithea said speaking up “They gave me an extra crest that I never **wanted** and that I never **needed**.” The petite female said breathlessly “I’m the same, all my siblings **died** except me from these experiments. Even my father as the Emperor couldn’t stop them.” Edelgard said “The Empire once being church centered lost it’s belief in the church after the experiments because they didn’t do **anything** to help us.” The taller white haired female said “But that doesn’t matter right now, we’re going to change it right?” Lysithea asked “Now that the truth has been revealed I don’t want anything to do with church, I-I can’t **stand** the church doing this.” 

_“L-Lysithea?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so sorry that this was supper short I lost inspiration for this chapter and it is really hard to right for this so it will be put on hold (for now it will be back I promise!) also I wonder who could be calling Lysithea?

**Author's Note:**

> alright this is the first chapter, I’m sorry it’s rather short I plan on making longer chapter in the future besides that I hope you enjoyed, the ashen wolves will be added once I finish dlc since I just started it so it might be awhile hope you have a good day/night!


End file.
